Communication

Communication is a skill that has a direct impact over individuals and organizations success. At Adaptabi we believe that openness and transparency always lead to meaningful and kind COMMUNICATION.

The flow: someone perceives a message through his senses, passes it through his mental models creating a subjective internal picture, and then reacts with his own thoughts, feelings and messages.

Why is it important: because it’s what we do continuously. If what we do continuously is not important, what else is? You could imagine your entire day as a continuous communication protocol. You send emails, messages, comments, have meetings or pair programming sessions, write requirements and fill the remaining time by talking to the little voice inside your head.

Communication is not just about sending information but also receiving it. Ideally you send some messages and others receive them. In more real cases, you send but only some receive part of the messages. The worst case, that still happens often, is when you send and people ask themselves what is this guy trying to say. The emphasis on the ‘sending’ comes also from young ages, when we are taught about speaking, writing but very little about listening and empathy.

That’s why later on, as grown-ups, in difficult situations, the tendency is to think we are not understood, rather then trying to understand first. How many times do we ask our self ‘Why is that he doesn’t seem to understand?, How could i have told him differently?, What are his assumptions?, Why he considers that way? ’, instead of ‘I told him many times but nothing’ or ‘I told him very clear but he just does not understand…’.

In many cases, not listening to someone is exactly why he doesn’t seem to listen. Not because they are stubborn, but because they don’t feel heard. So they repeat themselves, find new ways to say things, talk more loudly, and so on.

We believe that Communication is about you, but more about the OTHERS, satisfying THEIR needs and expectations, changing their thinking, reaching their emotions. When you transmit a message to someone, you want HIM to act in a certain way, or understand some things, or respond with some other information. The purpose was not just to send it, so you can get rid of it, other way you would have just send it to someone else. That’s why we consider that the meaning of communication (the result) is the response you get, not the messages you think you send.

At Adaptabi we encourage difficult conversations (contrasting ideas). We know that the same message can mean different things to different people because of different assumptions. That is the reason we work together on making those assumptions public by inquiring into our and others thinking. We do our best to control these meetings, whether they are convergent or divergent, learning together how to ask the right questions. The final aim is creating a learning conversation, not fighting about who’s right but understand each other ideas and learn how to get to the best result together.

We promote integrity. Too often there is a discrepancy between what we think and what we say, in the same way as there is a discrepancy between desire (what we want to do) and behavior (what we actually do). We want things but we don’t do them, we think about things but we don’t say them.

Being open and sincere is the path to happiness and internal peace, these are the things you may regret not doing after years, it’s the way to be proactive, control and live the life you want, not the one that others create for you. Just keep in mind that “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.”

Some other communication advises we use at Adaptabi:

• be clear about your goal or message
• be concise in your communication, stick to the point and keep it brief
• be concrete, so your audience has a clear picture of what you’re telling them
• be coherent, so all the points are connected and relevant to the main topic
• be kind and do your best to understand and help others

Resources that could help: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People / Leading with questions / Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most / How to Win Friends & Influence People